Ghosts of Girlfriends Past Review

Alright, so I got a bit of positive feedback on my first movie review, reviewing a movie I kinda liked and thought, "I wonder if I'd do as well reviewing a movie I don't like? I guess I'll just have to wait until I see a really crappy movie to find out." Enter Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.


Matthew McConaughey plays the part of Conner Mead, a rich, famous, playboy photographer (that's a playboy who is a photographer, not a photographer for Playboy), cynical when it comes to love and content with his life of sleeping with a different girl every night. Conner is forced to reevaluate his life, however, when he is visited by the ghost of his party animal uncle and mentor, played by Michael Douglas, at his little brother's wedding. He is then visited by the standard Dickensesque three ghosts: Past, Present, and Future. As anyone who has ever heard of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol would guess, the Past Ghost guides Conner through all his past relationships, Present shows him what people are saying about him now and, you guessed it, Future shows him what he's in store for if he continues on the way he has been living.


First off, Charles Dickens must be rolling in his grave right now. Yes, I know, it isn't the first great literary work to be turned into a piece of crap, but it's still shocking to someone who has read and loved the original. I know that it is only loosely based on A Christmas Story, but still- big slap in the face of Dickens, in my opinion. The acting is bad, the dialogue is bad, the characters (both McConaughey and Garner's) are completely unlikable, just about everything is bad. Secondly, why do people continue to think that Matthew McConaughey is 1) Good-looking and 2) A good actor? I think the following video from Family Guy accurately describes my feelings about his acting abilities:



I also just can't fathom why this passes as a "Chick Flick". The female characters in GoGP range from slutty, to bridezilla, to naive, to stupid, to uberslutty. Is it now considered okay to totally degrade women in a chick flick as long as the one who is objectifying them is a supposedly hot guy, preferably as naked as possible? Congratulations to every woman who loved this movie, you have set Women's Rights back about 50 years.


In conclusion, if you're a big fan of Matthew McConaughey, movies with sexual innuendo dripping from every line, and the idea that women are stupid and are only good for...well....you know, you'll love Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. If the above doesn't apply to you, I'd save my ten dollars and just bash myself over the head with a blunt object for a couple hours- should have about the same effect.